NYPD Crime Sheet #12772TY-565

Charging Officer: Police Chief Wiggum. Badge Number: I can't remember - it's so long.
Charge: Lewd and perverted acts in a public place.
Name: Dr Victor Von Doom
Address: Latvarian Embassy, 1 Global Domination Plaza, New York City.
Height: 6ft 4 Inches - excluding metal boots.    Weight: The scales broke.
Eye Color: Burnt                                                      Hair: None


Possessions:
1. Gauntlets 2; emitting death-rays, electrical shocks, poisonous gas and MP3 controller.
2. Cloak with hood 1; color dark-green, 2 concealed pockets with unidentifiable potions & 1 with a signed photo of Bette Midler 'To Vicky, love you baby, Bette XXX', cloak tag marked 'Property of V. Doom - Dry Clean Only'.
3. Armoured Chest plate 1; containing electrical batteries, various unidentifiable mechanics and 100TB hard-drive with album 'Bette Midler - A Woman Worth Crying Over'.
4. Face Mask 1; containing Bluetooth headphones, embedded LCD screen, various unidentifiable electrical devices and lined with green Fuchsia-scented velvet.
5. Body Armour.
6. Penile-like appendage 1; Platinum-coated approx. 10" long, jewel-encrusted, self-lubricating with Latvarian Coat of Arms.

Demeanour: Aggressive. The perp continued to shout loudly whilst being fingerprinted. Quote: "Unhand my regal presence, you son of a peasant toad. You shall suffer mightly for this indignity. When I am ruler of this miserable planet you will be crushed like the insignificant flea that you are."


Incident Report:
I was cruising along 25th Avenue looking for a doughnut bar, when I observed the perp acting suspiciously and walking into Central park with a female. Female appeared to be intoxicated and had difficulty walking in a straight-line. Perp was constantly touching intimate parts of her body.
The pair were not visible for 5 minutes. When next seen they were seated on a rug behind a bush with a full 7 course meal, 2 magnums of Champaign + ice-bucket, candelabra, song playing 'Wind Beneath My Wings' by Bette Midler and a large Wolf-hound.
Following Conversation was over-heard:
Perp: Ah, Esmeralda, see you how the stars shine on my enhanced power Gauntlet.
Female: Yes - master.
Perp: Does this not remind you of the old country? Picnic at midnight in the Buchen Wald.
Female: Yes - master.
Perp: Enough of the foreplay - come service me.
Perps crotch plate opened electronically to reveal appendage (see point 6 in Possessions above). Female's mouth distended abnormally wide and performed a lewd and obscene act. I identified myself, at which point the perp shouted "Abort! Abort! Desist! Self-destruction order ESME-23-DM!". The female cried "Yes Master" and burst into flames. We later identified her as a Doom Fembot.
I asked the perp what he was doing but he started to shout incoherently in German. At this point perp ordered the wolf-hound to attack me and I was forced to shoot the animal. The perp cuddled the animals' carcass and started crying "oh, my baby. My sweet Heidi, my love, what have they done to you!!".
I relieved him of his gauntlets, read him his rights and arrested him.

Police Psychologist Summary: Uhm, yeaah, this guy is really weird. You know, I uhm, think he has real under-achiever issues. You know like, he's, uhm, eh, totally fixated on this Reed guy; so competitive. He was like, uhm, so rude, kept trying to prove my degree was worthless. Yeah, what a loon! He should definitely get out less.
Dr. W. Allen.

Bail: $10
Bailee: Dr R. Richards
Bailee Address: Baxter Build, 1 Freedom Plaza, New York City.
Diplomatic Immunity: Not Applicable - Latvaria is a fictitious country.