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February 2005 Week 7 Rest
assured dear readers, nothing untoward happened to your long-suffering
narrator. The on-rushing lorry was easily avoided and the taxi-driver pulled
over. "Oz
- stop it. We nearly crashed." But
Oz was not stopping - "hebe one hebe one hebe one" which
sounded like - he be one. "CHUUP![Quiet]
Alright, alright, soor-dhe-bache [son of a pig], it's
me. Happy??" My
heart sank at this admission - all those taxis, all those months of searching,
just to find this one man. Oz
wasn't mad after all, there really was someone. But this fact brought on a
creeping dread, what else was true? Then
he did a curious thing, he looked at me straight and, perhaps I was mistaken,
but he smiled. "Don't
worry - it'll all work out; one way or another. (Turning to OZ) Have you told
him?" "No,
no no no no no no
no." "BUS!![Enough]
What's this nononononono crap - one 'no' is
enough!" He
turned to me. "Listen to me Colin, you are on the start of a great
adventure, one that will either open your eyes to the world of the Djinn, or it will drive you mad." Oz
grunted in a violent way - he was worried the Taxi-driver was scaring me - he
was bloody too! "Alright
alright. Look Colin the Devil never comes up to you
face to face, that's not his style. He always comes from the side, just on the
edge of your eye-line. You know he's there but when you turn to look he's
gone." "But
why me?" I questioned him. "Why
you? Why not me? Why not him? (Indicating Oz) well alright maybe not that soor[pig]. Why you? Because you have the lineage." "But
why Stoke? Why not "Because
that's like standing up front, always from the side. And what's more
out-of-the-way and on-the-side than Stoke??" I
nodded faintly. "Have
you told anyone?" I shook my head. He
looked disturbed - "That doesn't make sense - all these sacrifices - all
this jadoo[magic]. Are you sure?" And
then I realised, just as I'm sure you have done by now dear readers - the one
person I did tell. 
"Uhm,
I...may have...sort of...mentioned it to...someone at school - my
psychologist." "Oh
yaaar! [Oh friend!] Dur-fitte-moue!
[Dam your mouth!]" "Makey sense makey sense ohh dangery dangery." "Once
- just say it bloddy once. And what kind of English
is that? 'Dangery dangery'
- I'm supposed to be the bloody immigrant - not you! Any way you are right - it
all makes sense now." This
was turning into something beyond a nightmare - I just wanted to wake up and go
for a long piss. "OK
listen, we have to be careful. First step is the 'Khulla
Damaag' [Open Mind] - have you got everything?" "Nearly
nearly near...." Oz trailed away when the
Taxi-driver held his finger up. I
started to get worried again - they were talking about me. "What's this 'Khulla Damaag'?" The
Taxi-driver smiled - "It's OK - don't worry, it's just a way of letting
you step into the next room, spiritually speaking." They started muttering
in a low voice and I couldn't make it out. I
had to ask - "Is it dangerous?" There
was a silence, an ominous silence and
they both looked at each other. "CIRCLE
12! The
radio made everyone jump. "I
have to take this, Circle 12 here - go ahead". "PICK
UP FROM TUNSTALL TO STOKE STATION!" "OK
- I've got to go, come on get out." "Me
goesy goesy tunnny too!" So
that was that. Oz was getting a lift to Tunstall and I was left to walk
home/catch a bus, whatever. Before he left Oz pressed a small leather satchel
into my hands, "Putty putty in bathy boos bathy boos - good soaky woaky -
openy openy mindy windy." I
looked in the bag, little packets and small bottles. That's going to be one
hell of a messy bath time I thought. I
started walking, I had no choice, the bus service hadn't started running yet. The
kebab & pizza shops after all that talk, looked seedy and faintly creepy -
but maybe it was just the smell of bad food. It
was cold and I wasn't really dressed for walking around at 5 in the morning.
Suddenly a car drew level with me - that's all I needed kerb-crawlers trying to
pick me up. "Piss
off!" "Colin?
- is that you Colin?" Oh
bugger, it was Kelly's dad, of all the people to run into. I
tried the humble approach - "Hello Sir." "What
are you doing here?" "Uhm,
I had to meet someone and now I'm stranded. You couldn't give me a...." I
put on my best lost-puppy look and he bought it. "Get
in. God knows what're up to but I can't leave you here, anyway Kelly seems to
like you." I
dived in and was all belted up and warming my hands on the car-heater by the
time he'd finished. We
started driving I wasn't in the mood for talking but he kept giving me sly
looks. "What's
in the bag?" "Nothin." "Must
be something!" "Of
course it's bleeding something cos you can sodding
well see it - if it were totally nuthing you wouldn't
see it wouldja?" Uh
oh! Not a good move - "Don't give me any of your lip or I'll kick you out
& you can sodding well walk home." We
drove in silence for the rest of the trip. The
first thing I did was look up 'Djinn'. The
Djinn are creatures, made of smokeless fire, capable
of assuming human form and exercising supernatural influence over people. Oh,
bugger! |